1
00:00:03,759 --> 00:00:05,280
You sent for me, Excellency?

2
00:00:05,700 --> 00:00:09,699
Yes. I've been spending some time
watching the people down there on that

3
00:00:09,700 --> 00:00:10,880
planet. Earth?

4
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:14,020
Oh, yes. What simple, foolish creatures
they be.

5
00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,520
I am concerned about them. How so?

6
00:00:16,780 --> 00:00:21,240
They never seem to be happy with their
simple lives, whatever joy befalls them.

7
00:00:21,340 --> 00:00:23,750
I'd like you to arrange a little
demonstration.

8
00:00:23,751 --> 00:00:24,719
The usual?

9
00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:27,320
Yes. I'll leave it to you to select the
details.

10
00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:28,690
Let me see now.

11
00:00:28,740 --> 00:00:30,760
We need to find a typical subject.

12
00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:34,260
Someone who feels the whole world is
against them.

13
00:00:35,140 --> 00:00:36,190
David's gone out!

14
00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:42,760
I'll be glad when half term's over.

15
00:00:42,761 --> 00:00:44,059
Oh, thanks.

16
00:00:44,060 --> 00:00:44,819
Not you.

17
00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:46,880
We just got hit by the girly squad
again.

18
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:50,570
Have they investigated this cluster of
brain -damaged children?

19
00:00:50,940 --> 00:00:52,080
Can I leave you a plate?

20
00:00:52,081 --> 00:00:53,579
I'll grab one for you, Laura.

21
00:00:53,580 --> 00:00:56,360
You could pass her a bit too. Even for
me.

22
00:00:56,580 --> 00:00:58,740
If Jackie calls them at Clive's. All
right.

23
00:00:59,420 --> 00:01:01,220
But if Joanne calls them at Jackie's.

24
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:02,570
Yes.

25
00:01:02,860 --> 00:01:04,519
Unless Joanne is Jackie.

26
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:05,970
Then I'm just out.

27
00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,340
What if Jackie's at Joanne's?

28
00:01:08,341 --> 00:01:11,459
No one ever goes to Joanne's. The mother
is an alcoholic.

29
00:01:11,460 --> 00:01:12,620
I wonder why.

30
00:01:13,260 --> 00:01:14,310
They're all for you.

31
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:20,730
Goodbye.

32
00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:24,760
Hi. Have you discovered this?

33
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:29,860
It's soft. It's comfortable. It's
reliable. And best of all, it has wings.

34
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,370
So did Paul McCartney, and he was never
any good.

35
00:01:36,551 --> 00:01:38,579
Any food left?

36
00:01:38,580 --> 00:01:41,530
Shouldn't you be at work? I told you,
I'm taking the day off.

37
00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:44,840
Are you watching that? Watching what?

38
00:01:48,620 --> 00:01:50,020
I thought you'd gone.

39
00:01:50,021 --> 00:01:53,099
Christine's got the council coming round
to her flat, and I only had one

40
00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:54,150
appointment today.

41
00:01:54,151 --> 00:01:55,699
I'll postpone it till tomorrow.

42
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:56,919
So what are you going to do?

43
00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:57,949
What do you mean?

44
00:01:57,950 --> 00:02:00,689
I've got to go and see about a job and
the builders will be here in a minute.

45
00:02:00,690 --> 00:02:01,589
Oh, I'll help them.

46
00:02:01,590 --> 00:02:02,640
I'll talk to them.

47
00:02:03,570 --> 00:02:05,110
I won't say anything.

48
00:02:05,870 --> 00:02:08,400
You don't want them to have any more
distractions.

49
00:02:11,190 --> 00:02:12,240
What can I do, then?

50
00:02:13,130 --> 00:02:16,020
Why don't you go down to the cellar and
tidy up your tools?

51
00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:19,050
Tools don't like being tidied. They die.

52
00:02:19,630 --> 00:02:21,190
Did you ever see Brian's tools?

53
00:02:21,410 --> 00:02:24,480
They're clipped up like slaves and
locked away in a steel box.

54
00:02:24,610 --> 00:02:25,660
They're cruelty.

55
00:02:26,150 --> 00:02:27,200
Oh.

56
00:02:27,201 --> 00:02:28,209
What's the matter?

57
00:02:28,210 --> 00:02:30,050
The bill from the cash and carry.

58
00:02:30,051 --> 00:02:34,589
We've only had one inquiry in the last
four weeks and I've still got to pay the

59
00:02:34,590 --> 00:02:36,869
bank for all the work the builders
aren't doing in there.

60
00:02:36,870 --> 00:02:40,469
Don't worry. That can change. We can
only use pre -made food till it's all

61
00:02:40,470 --> 00:02:42,909
finished. Well, cheer up. It's really
coming on in there.

62
00:02:42,910 --> 00:02:45,110
Where? Well, it's practically finished.

63
00:02:46,070 --> 00:02:47,570
Apart from the hole in the wall.

64
00:02:49,030 --> 00:02:50,230
And the hole in the floor.

65
00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:53,709
Plastering these doing.

66
00:02:53,710 --> 00:02:56,740
Tiling. Worktops need fitting. Get
painting.

67
00:02:58,460 --> 00:03:00,480
What? Who sent me this?

68
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:01,930
What is it?

69
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:07,259
Greetings. Your name has been selected
to receive this copy of the

70
00:03:07,260 --> 00:03:08,780
Chain of Good Fortune.

71
00:03:09,180 --> 00:03:15,819
This letter, started by a Peruvian monk
in 1962, is guaranteed to shower you and

72
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,440
your family with luck and wealth.

73
00:03:17,930 --> 00:03:23,629
Mrs Betty Bogg of Montana received a
copy of this letter in 1982 and followed

74
00:03:23,630 --> 00:03:28,729
the special instructions. Within two
days, she'd won over $60 million in the

75
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:32,049
state lottery and recovered from a life
-threatening illness that had blighted

76
00:03:32,050 --> 00:03:33,690
her for 14 years. Sounds great.

77
00:03:35,030 --> 00:03:41,359
Mr... Ward Larkin of Utrecht broke the
chain and declined to pass the shower of

78
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:42,620
good fortune on to others.

79
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:47,159
Shortly after, while out shopping for
some croissant, he was stung to death by

80
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:51,620
swarm of enormous wasps not normally
found outside continental Africa.

81
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:57,099
All you have to do is send copies of
this letter to six of your friends who

82
00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:58,240
think it would benefit.

83
00:03:58,800 --> 00:03:59,850
God, what rubbish.

84
00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:01,410
We don't know that.

85
00:04:01,411 --> 00:04:02,259
We do.

86
00:04:02,260 --> 00:04:03,340
Well, we know it works.

87
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:07,420
Well, what about Mrs. Moss' name from
Fingermate? Well, she won 60 million.

88
00:04:07,660 --> 00:04:09,520
Only according to that, we don't know.

89
00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:11,040
Well, why would they lie?

90
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,220
Look, it's just triple, Ben.

91
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:14,560
You can't disprove it.

92
00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,440
Well, answer me this.

93
00:04:16,959 --> 00:04:20,700
This letter was started in 1962 by a
Peruvian monk, right?

94
00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:21,970
Yeah. Why?

95
00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:23,579
What do you mean?

96
00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:24,720
I mean, why?

97
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,760
Why would a Peruvian monk do that?

98
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,200
Well, that's what I know.

99
00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:31,040
They're funny in South America.

100
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:32,850
Just to be nice.

101
00:04:32,851 --> 00:04:33,879
What does it matter?

102
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:38,039
All right, so he started it then, never
mind why, and everybody copies out the

103
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:40,390
letter and sends it to six people over
and over.

104
00:04:40,391 --> 00:04:41,479
Right.

105
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:45,679
How does this bit about Mrs. Betty Bob
get into the letter? For the first 20

106
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:47,540
years, she can't have been in it at all.

107
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:48,650
She put it in herself.

108
00:04:48,740 --> 00:04:50,280
It doesn't tell you to add bits.

109
00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:52,790
Well, she wants 60 million. We don't
know that.

110
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:57,390
Look, how did the other bit get in then,
about the guy who was stung to death?

111
00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:00,680
Did he crawl to his death with his dying
breath and write it in?

112
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:01,970
Could have done.

113
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:05,160
letters afterwards?

114
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,360
Well, it doesn't say he died suddenly.

115
00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:13,000
Well, your giant African wasp, you know,
gives you a long lingering death.

116
00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:16,300
But it says he didn't pass the letter
on.

117
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:19,040
This is stupid, Ben. It doesn't make any
sense.

118
00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:21,400
Well, what are you going to do about it?

119
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:24,970
You think I should pass it on, don't
you? What's the harm in it?

120
00:05:43,820 --> 00:05:44,870
Bo Diddley.

121
00:05:47,860 --> 00:05:49,220
The ball of the foot.

122
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:56,040
Er... The bubonic plague and time out.

123
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,050
Yeah?

124
00:05:58,440 --> 00:05:59,490
Right.

125
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,090
Thank you.

126
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,210
Bye.

127
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,920
I've just been live on Capital Radio
Quiz Call.

128
00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:13,450
I've just won an adventure day out for
one.

129
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,700
They're sending a car in any minute.

130
00:06:17,180 --> 00:06:20,340
It's got nothing to do with that letter.
What is it, then?

131
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,280
It's just luck. There you see?

132
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:24,780
Luck. No, Ben.

133
00:06:24,781 --> 00:06:27,559
It's just what I said it was. Oh, give
it here. I've had enough of this. No,

134
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:28,660
don't! Ben!

135
00:06:29,020 --> 00:06:32,060
As your husband, I forbid you to tear up
that letter.

136
00:06:32,061 --> 00:06:33,459
Oh, really?

137
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,039
Please don't tear up that letter.

138
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:38,280
Look, this is the only way I can prove
that this is nonsense.

139
00:06:41,550 --> 00:06:42,600
There we are.

140
00:06:46,090 --> 00:06:47,990
See? Nothing's happened.

141
00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:50,890
You shouldn't have done that.

142
00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:52,230
Oh, yeah?

143
00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:56,850
They've had a slight accident on the
motorway. They won't be coming today.

144
00:07:58,160 --> 00:07:59,540
What sort of accident?

145
00:08:00,220 --> 00:08:01,270
Nothing, really.

146
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:05,300
Their pick -up truck got buried under a
lorry load of frozen pizzas.

147
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:10,499
The little one had several abrasions
from flying pepperoni. Now, you can't

148
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:11,550
that's normal!

149
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:14,340
Just one of those things, Ben.

150
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,180
If I had the chance again, I'd still
tear that letter up.

151
00:08:19,831 --> 00:08:22,989
Looks like you've got the chance.

152
00:08:22,990 --> 00:08:24,040
Eh?

153
00:08:32,330 --> 00:08:36,650
Greetings. Your name has been
selected... Same writing.

154
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:40,210
Well, my car's coming in a minute.

155
00:08:40,211 --> 00:08:45,929
Promise me one thing. You won't tear
that letter up. We've had enough bad

156
00:08:45,930 --> 00:08:46,980
for one day.

157
00:08:47,510 --> 00:08:48,650
All right, I promise.

158
00:09:14,990 --> 00:09:16,040
It's your car.

159
00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:17,140
Here I am, then.

160
00:09:17,170 --> 00:09:20,960
What's the matter with you? Got a
Raspberry Mivy stuck down your knickers?

161
00:09:21,650 --> 00:09:23,110
Got another one in the taxi.

162
00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:28,310
Well, don't help me. I'm in training for
the women's stonking powerlifting.

163
00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:32,090
Ben! I'm just coming.

164
00:09:32,091 --> 00:09:35,969
Pete thinks he's getting a tip after his
drive and he could go and visit Peter

165
00:09:35,970 --> 00:09:37,050
Pan in Fairyland.

166
00:09:37,350 --> 00:09:38,610
So I put this earphone out.

167
00:09:39,530 --> 00:09:40,580
What's all this?

168
00:09:41,130 --> 00:09:42,490
You said it'd be all right.

169
00:09:42,710 --> 00:09:46,389
What? He told me if I ever... needed
somewhere, you wouldn't have seen me out

170
00:09:46,390 --> 00:09:47,469
the streets, didn't you?

171
00:09:47,470 --> 00:09:48,520
Did you?

172
00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:51,269
Well, I might have done, but I meant if
you got chucked out by the council or

173
00:09:51,270 --> 00:09:53,440
something. I got chucked out by the
council.

174
00:09:53,630 --> 00:09:55,740
But they only came to repair your
ceiling.

175
00:09:56,110 --> 00:09:57,350
Asbestos. Asbestos?

176
00:09:57,351 --> 00:10:00,989
In the ceiling. It wasn't in a single
one of their other flats anywhere. They

177
00:10:00,990 --> 00:10:02,670
said it was a million to one chance.

178
00:10:02,671 --> 00:10:07,169
I've been advised to vacate the premises
pending removal for elf reasons. You

179
00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:08,490
must have had snub warning.

180
00:10:08,710 --> 00:10:11,010
Well, I did notice the dog was wheezing
a bit.

181
00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:13,250
My brother said it was asthmatic.

182
00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:16,650
I said, a pit bull with asthma.

183
00:10:16,930 --> 00:10:19,430
And he said, it's the breeding you silly
tart.

184
00:10:19,431 --> 00:10:22,689
They all mate with their sisters because
of the enormous teeth.

185
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:26,850
I said, oh, that's disgusting. And he
said, yes, I think we understand.

186
00:10:27,950 --> 00:10:30,290
Good. Can I see my room now, please?
What room?

187
00:10:30,291 --> 00:10:33,989
Well, there's a boxed room. David's old
bed's in there. The Ben Porter? Yeah.

188
00:10:33,990 --> 00:10:36,280
Car. I'll be with you in a minute. Is
that right?

189
00:10:46,410 --> 00:10:47,460
a few days.

190
00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:51,040
That's what they said about World War
One.

191
00:10:54,050 --> 00:10:55,250
Where are we off to then?

192
00:10:55,251 --> 00:10:56,329
Didn't they tell you?

193
00:10:56,330 --> 00:10:59,449
No, they just said it was an adventure
day out. I'm dropping you off at the

194
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:00,500
airfield. Oh.

195
00:11:01,270 --> 00:11:02,350
Did you say airfield?

196
00:11:03,070 --> 00:11:04,690
Am I flying in a plane somewhere?

197
00:11:05,210 --> 00:11:06,370
Part of the way, yes.

198
00:11:07,130 --> 00:11:08,450
What about the other part?

199
00:11:08,610 --> 00:11:09,930
You're flying without one.

200
00:11:26,401 --> 00:11:32,869
Tony, to get some more of his things. He
doesn't get back there very much at the

201
00:11:32,870 --> 00:11:34,810
moment. Why didn't he go himself?

202
00:11:34,811 --> 00:11:37,809
He had to get out of bed this morning,
so I told him to have a sleep.

203
00:11:37,810 --> 00:11:38,860
Is he all right?

204
00:11:38,930 --> 00:11:42,949
Yes, but ever since I put him on this
special virility diet, he's been

205
00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:45,900
exhausted. It can't be that, though. It
was on Oprah Winfrey.

206
00:11:47,450 --> 00:11:49,310
Something seems to be wearing him out.

207
00:11:49,311 --> 00:11:52,849
Perhaps you should give him a night off
from trying to make a baby.

208
00:11:52,850 --> 00:11:54,670
It is getting rather obsessional.

209
00:11:55,570 --> 00:11:56,990
It's not obsessional.

210
00:11:57,470 --> 00:11:58,520
Rona. Oh, all right.

211
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,820
I'll use some I prepared earlier.

212
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:05,760
Where are the builders?

213
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,860
Rona, you're avoiding talking about
things.

214
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:12,050
No, I'm not. I think it's definitely
coming on, don't you?

215
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:13,420
Come and sit down.

216
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:26,360
Have you ever wanted anything so badly
you'd do almost anything to get it?

217
00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:27,910
What do you mean?

218
00:12:27,911 --> 00:12:30,719
Remember when we worked at the bakery?

219
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,619
That's when I thought what I really
wanted was independence.

220
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:34,670
Would you cut it?

221
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:39,019
We don't work for anybody. This business
is all ours and we control it. We don't

222
00:12:39,020 --> 00:12:43,580
control it. There's finding customers,
health regulations, the bank.

223
00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,990
We're more hemmed in now than we were
when we just went to work.

224
00:12:47,220 --> 00:12:49,630
At least we've got something of our own.
Have we?

225
00:12:50,660 --> 00:12:55,959
The point is, it isn't the escape we
thought it was. It's just a different

226
00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:57,010
of prison bars.

227
00:12:57,440 --> 00:13:00,620
You're not really just talking about
work, are you?

228
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:02,290
No.

229
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,460
I've tried everything with Tony.

230
00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:08,560
Nothing seems to make any difference.

231
00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:10,080
Have you tried anything?

232
00:13:26,410 --> 00:13:27,790
I'm not giving up on this yet.

233
00:13:28,030 --> 00:13:30,970
All I need is a bit of luck and I'm sure
I'm due some soon.

234
00:13:31,710 --> 00:13:32,760
Why do you say that?

235
00:13:33,190 --> 00:13:35,370
What do you mean? About being due some
luck.

236
00:13:35,770 --> 00:13:38,360
Well, I must be, mustn't I? If only for
persistence.

237
00:13:38,950 --> 00:13:41,870
Rona, have you ever seen this before?

238
00:13:42,490 --> 00:13:43,540
What is it?

239
00:13:44,870 --> 00:13:46,010
It's a chain letter.

240
00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:48,370
It arrived in the post. Ring any bells?

241
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:50,970
What do you mean, ring any bells?

242
00:13:51,190 --> 00:13:52,570
It's supposed to bring luck.

243
00:13:52,571 --> 00:13:56,639
I received two of them this morning,
both addressed in the same handwriting.

244
00:13:56,640 --> 00:14:00,019
Well, obviously someone thinks a lot of
you. If they thought a lot of me, they'd

245
00:14:00,020 --> 00:14:01,319
have torn it up themselves.

246
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:06,560
Why? These things are based on
superstition and fear. They're evil.

247
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,380
Don't you have fun?

248
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:13,080
Both these envelopes are addressed in
black felt tip.

249
00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:14,350
Oh?

250
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,830
You've got a black felt tip, haven't
you?

251
00:14:20,780 --> 00:14:24,380
much like the assumptions you're making
here. I thought it was you.

252
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:28,399
You pass this on because the only thing
you care about is being a success at

253
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,860
this stupid baby business.

254
00:14:31,460 --> 00:14:34,340
It is not stupid to me.

255
00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:35,860
Oh, so you did send them?

256
00:14:35,861 --> 00:14:38,979
You seem to have already decided that.
What do you mean by that?

257
00:14:38,980 --> 00:14:42,760
You have the right to sit in judgment of
me on this or any subject.

258
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:45,100
Sitting in judgment? Yes, you are.

259
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:56,900
back to Tony. What about Malcolm?

260
00:14:56,940 --> 00:15:00,130
I'll see him yourself. You're always so
right about everything.

261
00:15:07,260 --> 00:15:08,310
Hi,

262
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,960
Mum. What's the matter with Rona? We've
had an argument.

263
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,140
We were swimming all morning.

264
00:15:18,740 --> 00:15:19,900
There was an accident.

265
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:21,410
What?

266
00:15:21,980 --> 00:15:25,800
I just got... changed when those stupid
girls turned up.

267
00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:29,680
So I went up to the top board so I could
soak them when I dived in.

268
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:31,720
That's when it happened.

269
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:32,900
When what happened?

270
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:38,119
I was only wearing my loose costume and
I hit the water so fast I didn't notice

271
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:39,860
until I climbed out that it had gone.

272
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,430
I've been banned from the leisure
centre.

273
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,900
Got rid of those girls though. They
screamed and ran off.

274
00:15:55,031 --> 00:16:00,399
into your old room for a couple of days.
Will you give her a hand?

275
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:03,110
Yep. I've got to go and see our only
customer for a month.

276
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:07,080
Oh, the postman gave me these.

277
00:16:09,340 --> 00:16:10,600
Oh, my God.

278
00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:13,080
What are they, blackmail letters?

279
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,270
No, no, they're nothing, just circulars,
rubbish.

280
00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:18,570
Oh, we never get any excitement around
here.

281
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,040
Yeah? Patrick Heligan?

282
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:33,730
I'm his son, Michael.

283
00:17:33,860 --> 00:17:36,000
I spoke on the phone earlier. Bill
Porter.

284
00:17:36,380 --> 00:17:37,430
Oh, yeah?

285
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,300
I've come to see him. Is that all right?

286
00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:42,710
Come in, then.

287
00:18:00,140 --> 00:18:01,460
This is my brother Bernard.

288
00:18:01,820 --> 00:18:02,870
Hello.

289
00:18:05,540 --> 00:18:06,590
Ma!

290
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,420
I won't be a minute.

291
00:18:11,460 --> 00:18:12,560
She's come to see Da.

292
00:18:12,860 --> 00:18:13,910
Yeah?

293
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:15,330
Yes.

294
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:19,270
Assuming my quote was acceptable, I need
to work out the arrangements.

295
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:20,670
The arrangements?

296
00:18:21,020 --> 00:18:22,070
That's it, then?

297
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:23,150
Yes.

298
00:18:23,420 --> 00:18:25,700
We didn't expect a woman, did we,
Bernard?

299
00:18:26,420 --> 00:18:27,960
Well, this is the 90s.

300
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:30,420
I'm sorry. I'm feeling a bit better now.

301
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,360
The lady's come to see, Dad.

302
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:33,810
Oh, yes.

303
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:36,160
We've been expecting you.

304
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:37,840
Come this way.

305
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,130
Here he is.

306
00:18:49,260 --> 00:18:50,880
I did what I could.

307
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:53,260
But now I leave you to it.

308
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,890
I'm afraid there's been a
misunderstanding.

309
00:19:05,420 --> 00:19:09,080
I do food for parties and weddings.

310
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:10,990
Oh!

311
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:16,020
Not till an hour in the road like
jackals.

312
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,100
No, I spoke to him yesterday.

313
00:19:18,540 --> 00:19:22,779
Yesterday? Yes, he wanted to arrange a
party for your silver wedding

314
00:19:22,780 --> 00:19:23,830
anniversary.

315
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,340
In the back garden this morning.

316
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,800
Oh, it's a beautiful day.

317
00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:49,939
He just finished planting some marigolds
to spell out British pigs when he had

318
00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:50,990
the heart attack.

319
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,660
And he's usually such a lucky man.

320
00:19:57,900 --> 00:20:02,660
Miss Callaghan, I'm sorry, but I think
I'd better go home.

321
00:20:19,090 --> 00:20:21,090
No, this can't get any worse.

322
00:20:52,981 --> 00:20:58,429
playing Christian on the video game. Is
everything all right?

323
00:20:58,430 --> 00:21:00,290
Mum, I think you'd better sit down.

324
00:21:00,291 --> 00:21:01,429
Why, what's happened?

325
00:21:01,430 --> 00:21:03,370
Please, it'd be better for you.

326
00:21:04,570 --> 00:21:06,370
OK, you can come out now.

327
00:21:07,990 --> 00:21:09,040
Hello, Bill.

328
00:21:09,041 --> 00:21:12,949
Aunt Tina, what are you doing here? Aunt
Tina's got something she has to tell

329
00:21:12,950 --> 00:21:15,410
you. I promised her you wouldn't get too
excited.

330
00:21:17,190 --> 00:21:19,010
Well, I'll leave you to it.

331
00:21:19,370 --> 00:21:23,100
I have to go upstairs and move the boxes
of junk that somebody's deposited.

332
00:21:25,230 --> 00:21:27,930
Jenny's growing up very fast, isn't she?

333
00:21:29,350 --> 00:21:30,630
What do you want, Tina?

334
00:21:31,830 --> 00:21:33,710
This isn't easy to begin.

335
00:21:35,650 --> 00:21:39,969
I don't know if you know, but I'm one of
the few lady members of our local golf

336
00:21:39,970 --> 00:21:41,590
club. You play golf?

337
00:21:41,910 --> 00:21:42,960
Yes.

338
00:21:43,030 --> 00:21:45,670
Well, only during certain hours.

339
00:21:45,970 --> 00:21:50,369
We have to take our shoes off in the
porch as the men say our heels ruin the

340
00:21:50,370 --> 00:21:51,420
parquet flooring.

341
00:21:52,310 --> 00:21:53,770
Mainly a social group.

342
00:21:54,380 --> 00:21:56,040
Are you recruiting new members?

343
00:21:56,041 --> 00:21:57,279
Oh, no.

344
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,260
It's really only for nice people.

345
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:01,280
Oh, right.

346
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:06,779
Well, since the divorce, I've spent more
and more time there, getting to know

347
00:22:06,780 --> 00:22:11,940
everybody, and, well, last week, I was
nominated to be women's captain.

348
00:22:12,740 --> 00:22:15,340
There's tremendous competition for the
honour.

349
00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:16,950
I can imagine.

350
00:22:17,380 --> 00:22:20,140
Then a couple of days ago, I received
it.

351
00:22:20,420 --> 00:22:21,470
What?

352
00:22:22,190 --> 00:22:24,450
the international chain of good fortune.

353
00:22:25,030 --> 00:22:27,110
You mean you sent it? Yes.

354
00:22:27,111 --> 00:22:31,029
Of course, I knew as soon as I saw it
that it was from someone who wished me

355
00:22:31,030 --> 00:22:35,889
ill, probably Marjorie Withers. They say
she's already emptied two Pringle

356
00:22:35,890 --> 00:22:40,449
counters and D .H. Evans in anticipation
of winning, so she decided to go in for

357
00:22:40,450 --> 00:22:41,169
the kill.

358
00:22:41,170 --> 00:22:45,710
Oh, Bill, I've had such a terrible time
since Brian left.

359
00:22:46,050 --> 00:22:48,470
I just couldn't bear to have any more...

360
00:22:48,471 --> 00:22:55,649
why you should never pass those things
on and put the same pressure onto other

361
00:22:55,650 --> 00:22:56,700
people. I know.

362
00:22:56,970 --> 00:23:01,989
I just didn't have the courage to tear
it up. But I knew that you would. You

363
00:23:01,990 --> 00:23:03,790
always do the brave thing.

364
00:23:04,250 --> 00:23:08,590
I mean, no one else would dare to have
those cushion covers without their tea.

365
00:23:10,070 --> 00:23:11,630
That's typical of you.

366
00:23:12,170 --> 00:23:13,220
Thank you very much.

367
00:23:13,450 --> 00:23:15,430
I felt very bad about sending them.

368
00:23:15,950 --> 00:23:18,650
But you've always been stronger minded
than me.

369
00:23:20,170 --> 00:23:21,530
Did I do the right thing?

370
00:23:23,340 --> 00:23:24,420
Yes, I suppose you did.

371
00:23:25,180 --> 00:23:26,780
So what did you do with them?

372
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:28,220
I tore them up.

373
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:30,540
And nothing happened?

374
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,260
No, nothing at all.

375
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:38,999
And you don't regret doing it? Why
should I? It's just a lot of silly

376
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,240
superstition. That's what I thought
you'd say.

377
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:45,820
So I didn't post the last one. I brought
it with me.

378
00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:04,079
afraid of.

379
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:05,520
Thank you, Bill.

380
00:24:06,220 --> 00:24:08,160
I'll always appreciate this.

381
00:24:08,580 --> 00:24:09,640
Hello, Auntie Tina.

382
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:10,930
What time is it?

383
00:24:11,460 --> 00:24:12,880
Nearly 4 .30. Why?

384
00:24:13,260 --> 00:24:14,820
Dad should be jumping about now.

385
00:24:15,460 --> 00:24:16,600
Jumping where, David?

386
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:20,819
Oh, he rang up just after Mum left. He's
gone skydiving at Headcorn with

387
00:24:20,820 --> 00:24:22,200
parachutes and everything.

388
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:33,010
It's brilliant. You can see everything
beneath him and the wind's rushing up.

389
00:25:33,020 --> 00:25:34,700
It's the best thing I've ever done.

390
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:36,740
What are you doing here, team?

391
00:25:37,260 --> 00:25:40,060
Bill was worried your parachute wouldn't
open.

392
00:25:40,700 --> 00:25:43,320
I told you it was all superstitious
nonsense.

393
00:25:43,860 --> 00:25:47,799
Yes, the military packed these
themselves. The chances of one of them

394
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:48,850
are infinitesimal.

395
00:26:38,641 --> 00:26:40,529
Any food left?

396
00:26:40,530 --> 00:26:43,480
Shouldn't you be at work? I told you,
I'm taking the day off.

397
00:26:44,870 --> 00:26:46,790
Are you watching that? Watching what?

398
00:26:51,090 --> 00:26:53,150
I thought you'd gone.

399
00:26:53,151 --> 00:26:56,209
No, no, Christine's got the council
coming round to her flat and I only had

400
00:26:56,210 --> 00:26:57,260
appointment today.

401
00:26:57,261 --> 00:26:58,849
I'll respond it to her tomorrow.

402
00:26:58,850 --> 00:27:00,049
So what are you going to do?

403
00:27:00,050 --> 00:27:00,869
What do you mean?

404
00:27:00,870 --> 00:27:03,809
I've got to go and see about a job and
the builders will be here in a minute.

405
00:27:03,810 --> 00:27:04,860
Oh, I'll help them.

406
00:27:04,950 --> 00:27:06,000
I'll talk to them.

407
00:27:07,130 --> 00:27:09,010
I'll watch them. I won't say anything.

408
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,010
I don't want them to have any more
distractions.

409
00:27:18,300 --> 00:27:19,560
Well, what can I do, then?

410
00:27:22,180 --> 00:27:26,079
Why don't you go down to the cellar and
tidy up your tools? Tools don't like me

411
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:27,130
tidying. They die.

412
00:27:27,131 --> 00:27:29,979
Did you ever see Brian's tools? Clipped
up like slaves and imprisoned in a steel

413
00:27:29,980 --> 00:27:31,030
box. It's cruelty.

414
00:27:34,980 --> 00:27:36,030
What's the matter?

415
00:27:36,420 --> 00:27:38,100
It's a bill from the cash and carry.

416
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:42,130
What's that?

417
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,050
Why don't we go back to bed for half an
hour?

418
00:27:51,340 --> 00:27:52,390
What now?

419
00:27:52,580 --> 00:27:53,630
Why not?

420
00:27:53,631 --> 00:27:55,189
Why don't you go and open those first?

421
00:27:55,190 --> 00:27:59,740
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